Hi my name is Braydon and I recently spoke at the IGDA (International Game Developers Association) Toronto Rant & Rave night. It was a lot of fun. My five-minute mini talk was voted best talk of the night, which I was thrilled about. I figured I would share the talk here for anyone who is interested.

Have you ever found yourself in a difficult relationship, where both people are going their separate ways?

I found myself in a relationship like that recently. Here's what happened.

Exploding barrel, we need to talk.

Lately things just haven't felt the same. I think it would be best if we go our separate ways.

Okay calm down... I think you're overreacting.

See this is what I'm talking about, this isn't what gas barrels do. Actually no barrel ever explodes like this in real life. Maybe if incendiary ammo was fired at you. But if you get shot, you should just leak gas out of your holes. You're always so dramatic.

At first your exploding was fun and exciting. You had so much energy. We had great team work, you would always appear beside enemies, I would always shoot you and then you would explode onto the bad stuff.

You were great at communicating. Everyone knew what you stood for. Barrel plus red equals explosion.

But it was always a lie. I let it slide because I thought we had something special. But now I see you in every game. Not that it's your fault, that's just what designers where taught

Barrel = Action, Action = Fun, So therefore Barrel = Fun

Look, I'm not here to shame you, you can do whatever you want with your petroleum. I just can’t be apart of it anymore.

Everyone uses you.

You have great explosions. Your helpful with enemies, you save ammo. You save lives while taking them.

Your easy to implement. I mean easy in a good way. Plus who doesn't love play testing with you.

I just can't stand to be around you and watch you tear yourself apart. I hate seeing you jealous of rockets, grenades and even health packs. I mean really, everyone loves health packs.

It's gotten old, we don't even interact anymore, all you do is explode. It seems like you're not only in shooter games anymore but in every genre. You. Always being perfectly positioned beside enemies just seems needy. Sometimes I want to shoot things in the head, not just explode you beside enemies.

But this is the last straw: when I walk into a new area in a game and see you standing beside all the places of cover. You give it away that a battle is about to happen and what a surprise when the enemies come running out to take cover right beside you. It's like I don't even want to shoot you anymore.

You say you’ll change but your always the same.

Sure, the little changes to your appearance helped for a little bit. Sometimes you'd leak then explode, a timer mechanic, but it's not enough.

I know we will still run into each other in games and I don't want things to be awkward. We can still be friends. Can we agree that I won't shoot you and you won't explode?

I'm looking to meet some new interactive items, exploding cars seem interesting. And I'd like to explore more game design. Its not over, it's just goodbye for now.

Can you do me just one favour?

Please don't be in the new Star Wars Battlefront.